When Being Selfish Is The Most Selfless Thing You Can Do
I have been working in the health and wellness industry for years now. Almost six years. And I have been very good at giving advice to my clients on ways to beat stress, drink more water and most importantly take time off when they need it. But did I always follow my own advice? The short answer is NO!
Two years ago I started my own massage and wellness clinic, together with a former colleague and as most of you entrepreneurs know, the first few years in business, you hustle. You hustle until you can't hustle anymore. And that's exactly what happened to me. I couldn't ignore my body's signs anymore. Years, previously, working in a highly volatile and stressful work situation and then starting up my own business, compounded my stress, until I was working myself into the ground.
I went and saw naturopaths, GP's and other fellow health professionals and nothing much changed, well, not until I had two light bulb moments! Number one, NOTHING WAS GOING TO CHANGE UNLESS I DID. Learning to say No was a HUGE thing for me, especially as a healer. Saying no to a client in pain...no way would I have done that, even when I was broken down and really needed the time to heal. Now I know you mum's can also commiserate, as you are often dead last on your list of people to look after. NO MORE! We need to start being selfish! Scratch that! Not selfish! Dedicated to our own wellbeing so it creates a flow on effect. If we are broken, we can't fix anyone else, especially not ourselves.
Number two wake up call, was seeing the brilliant Natalie Kringoudis speak about women's health and go through the list of symptoms of oestrogen dominance! HELLO! My friend and I both looked at each other and said "s**t! That's us!" Not only had oestrogen dominance crept in and made itself cosy in my body, but my behaviour was manifesting it. Overworking, not sleeping, stressing and using stimulants (even the healthy versions) were leading me to feel like a cast member of the Walking Dead!
So how have I started to heal myself and get back to my vibrant self? Simple. Listening to my body! Not pushing her beyond her capabilities, loving her for her energy and honouring when she needs sleep. Loving her even during this health crisis and knowing that both her and I are on an amazing journey. And here's the steps I am taking to create equilibrium:
* Saying NO! This has been really difficult, but finally, I am learning that I am as important as everyone else, and if I can't do something for someone, for whatever reason, I politely decline. Saying NO to someone else, is actually saying YES to me!
*Asking for HELP! Another biggie! If you can't do it, ask for help. If you don't have anyone to ask, see if you can outsource it. Only do what you can do, not what you think you SHOULD be doing!
*I take time to REST! A nana nap, a ten minute nap, getting to bed half an hour earlier than last night, these are all integral changes for a former night owl and workaholic, and they make a HUGE difference!
* I have started to tap into my CREATIVITY and getting back to ME! When the clutter of everyday life drowns out our inner voice and our mind/body connection, one of the best things to do, is stop and write. Morning Pages has been a great addition to my day and helps dust out the cobwebs of my mind. To find out more about Morning Pages and the author of the book 'The Artist's Way' click here Julia Cameron.
* I MOVE my body! Movement is integral in our sedentary lifestyles. Even in my work, performing similar tasks everyday, uses the same muscle groups. The body likes BALANCE. So my way of balancing is to find even ten minutes a day to do my barre workouts. If you are interested in barre workouts, Suzanne Bowen Fitness is my absolute favourite method and help you find your balance and mind/body connection.
* I EAT as best as I can, as often as I can, and choose the best option for where I am. That means I eat gorgeously, nutritious foods when at home, but if I am out socialising, you know I'm going to enjoy that luscious piece of cake.
* I MEDITATE, even just for five minutes. Silence is the best way to tap into our bodies natural healing ability and really hear what she has to tell us. She loves to whisper, but if we don't listen...she will shout. Put on your favourite essential oil blend, sit down and just breathe.
So this is my journey, how I'm changing my health one step at a time, and doing the best I can for my body and loving my 'life vehicle' back to vibrant health.
What are your health non-negoitables? What has prompted you on your health journey? I would love to hear from you below xxx
If You Build It They Will Come: How To Build Your Healthy Network in Three Easy Steps
You are the total sum of the five people you hang around most. I can't remember where I read this, but I definitely believe it to be true. Ever heard the old saying that misery loves company? Or birds of a feather, flock together? *insert* Ah woop bop blue bop, a whop bam boo! (Sorry, Grease nut here and I just couldn't resist.... 😉
But back to being serious, what do you do when you want to make healthy changes, but everyone else in your circle of friends is a Macca-burger-loving-red-bull-slurping-wouldn't-eat-a-veggie-unless-it-was-deep-fried kind of person? (Not that there is anything wrong with that, no shaming, everyone is on their own journey)
YOU FIND YOUR TRIBE, your Support System and seek out like minded souls. This can be difficult, if like me, you live in a small town, but believe me, you CAN DO IT! And I'll give you three easy steps to build your healthy network and how to make the most out of
1) Get on Facebook and use it for good not evil. Joking 😉 Facey is GREAT for "meeting" and being inspired by like minded peeps. There are great Fitness forums, Healthy Eating Forums and Pages dedicated to providing you with information and a platform to connect with and learn from like minded people, who may be travelling on a similar journey. I especially love the Facebook groups, as these are great motivators to help you are starting out on your healthy journey.
2) Create your own local group. Chat to friends, see if they know or would be interested in getting together every month, fortnight, week (hey, as often you want) and just chat. Discuss food, health, relationships, work, family etc. Because the health holistic journey, encompasses so much more than food, and just chatting with these beautiful souls can help you so much more than staying at home and reading that health book.
3) Go along to as many health events, wellness days and classes as your schedule allows. By putting yourself "out there" you will find soul sisters will naturally gravitate towards you and people you may not have realised, have similar interests and want similar support. Plus nothing uplifts your spirit than meeting other soul sisters and bonding on all things healthy.
You will find once you start to put yourself into those circles, you will find more and more kindred souls who are also along their health journey's. Some will be mentors, others will be riding alongside you and others you can help out once they start to change their health. I love the sisterhood that comes together when women support each other, we can change our lives, the lives of others and be inspirations to those, we don't even realise that are being inspired.
Below is a list of groups that you can find on Facebook that can help you find your 'healthy peeps' and offer great information on all things wellness. Don't be shy...request to join and come join us! It's fun!! I promise xx
Where do you like to hang out with the healthy crew? Comment below if you have some suggestions or how groups have helped you on your health journey xx Sharing is caring Lovelies <3
The Shame, The Blame and the C word (Part One)
I've been quiet for some time on the blog front. I didn't even know whether I wanted to blog, write, share what I've been going through publically. I mean where do I begin? What do I have to say? Who wants to hear it? But lately I've been called to get over myself and put fingers to keyboard and just type. It's healing isn't it? Cathartic...blah, blah, blah.
So when one doesn't know where to start, it's best to start at the beginning. It all started at a follow up doctors appointment last year, November 3rd. I remember that date, as it's the date that stops the nation...Melbourne Cup. I was at the doctors as I had, had an ongoing cough for months, which was not going away. I was tired, but hey who isn't and I was getting the occasional night sweat. I also had a lump on my neck that was also getting bigger, and not going away. But I wasn't too worried, it had to be Whooping Cough or something right?!?
So my GP ordered a barrage of tests, I had long cotton tips shoved up my nose and throat, bloods taken and an Ultrasound done of my neck.
That was when my world changed.
The next day I got a call from my GP to say I had to present to the hospital for a CT scan. Being a busy business owner and booked out Remedial Massage Therapist, my response was "I'm too busy for that, can we reschedule it?" Her gentle answer of "no" and her insistence of attending the appointment, worried me a little, but denial is a lovely thing, and I managed to convince myself that she was just being extra cautious.
That night as I was lying in bed reading a clinical Aromatherapy book, I turned to the chapter on the Lymphatic system and the words LYMPHOMA jumped out at me.
My heart pounded, it knew....I quickly googled Lymphoma CT scan and started crying, for I knew "Dr Google" had pointed me in the direction my life was about to take.....